You’ve all been there. As a teenager and an adult. The 3rd Wheel. The friend that accompanies another friend on a date as a chaperone, companion, bail excuse, lookout, body guard and whatever. I played my fair share of 3rd wheel and had friends do the same for me. This came up this weekend with my teens who are dating. One is going on her first 3rd wheel mission so I gave her the tips below 😀

Here’s some rules and tips.


– Your friend hinting that you should go get popcorn or go to the bathroom or jerking her head to the side means, “I like him – get lost”
– Your friend’s boyfriend winking at you over her shoulder means, “I’m a scumbag who’s trying to have my cake and eat it too.”
– Your friend tugs on your shirt and tell you it’s time for a lady’s room break means, “I have to come up with a plan to ditch this bozo.”

DON’Ts FOR THE 3rd Wheel

– Don’t ever fall for your friend’s boyfriend
– Don’t be clingy – be seen and not heard, remember it’s not your date it’s her’s
– Don’t ever stay alone with the said date/boyfriend – this could backfire and friend may become jealous and think you have eyes for her guy.
– Don’t gobble up your friend’s time/conversation – you could be drowning out her date and tick him off and make her lose a good opportunity to meet someone nice
– Don’t make googoo eyes at your friend’s guy no matter how hot he is.

DOs FOR THE 3rd Wheel

– Do talk to your friend before the date to ask her what the signals are (signals to ‘let’s ditch dude’, ‘I’m having a great time – get lost 3rd wheel’, ‘He’s okay, but I’m not going to do another date with him’, ‘He’s a scum who wants us both, lets ditch him instead’)
– Do let her know that you won’t try to impose on her date by talking girl stuff the entire time, so she doesn’t have to feel like she has to entertain both the 3rd wheel and her guy
– Do let her know that you are there for her and all she has to do is let you know what she needs.


Well my kid asked me if she should even do this. I told her yes – sometimes, but don’t make it a habit. It’s nice to be able to see what goes on a date without being a participant. And besides, you may need that same friend to 3rd wheel for you.

HAVE YOU BEEN A 3rd Wheel? IF so do you have tips?

~ by LM Preston on May 31, 2011.

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